Crisco Not-So Elite
Source: Bootleg Sports Entertainment

The Crisco Crew led by Jairo Paredes finds itself limping early in the season with an 0-2 start. After learning late saturday that they would be stood up by 2 of their Elite fatboys, the team found itself in pregame dispair. However tides of hope shifted with the announcement of Big Joe Montana coming out of retirement to join the Crisco Crew. To further boost the team’s spirits, Coach Paredes ignored doctor’s advice and started as QB wearing a mystery knee brace. The good vibes were quickly deflated just like entering an Hambourgao that’s out of violation sauce. The Great Wall of Quisqueya’s impenetrable front line defense made Paredes’ legendary arm just that, a legend. Matters were made worse with Carmelo’s many TO-like drops. Big Joe kept the game somewhat close making spectacular one handed catches with his Michael Phelp’s-like reach. On the other side of the coin, FAT BOY FIELD saw one of its most impressive performances by Alex and his telenovela sideburns. Yet to be confirmed by official game stats (on the way), this reporter feels comfortable in stating that Alex and his 1981 sideburns set a new FMF record in game receptions, TD’s, and interceptions. Post game medical review has the game MVP suffering from soreness of the chichos and everything else on his body for that matter but the sideburns are doing fine. Other game highlights included the fall of the Great Wall due to mystery ankle, and an ubelievable substitution performance by “Chancleta Man”.