January 26, 2012
Hugo Reyes is hired as the new Rutgers Football Coach?

Coach Reyes with Assistant Staff

With the Jan. 26 announcement by Rutgers University that former Fat Man Football standout Hugo Reyes has been hired as the Scarlet Knight’s new head coach, RU fans are expressing some mixed feelings about the move.

Better times are ahead, Rutgers fans, with Hugo Reyes as the new head coach.

I’m pretty darned excited about it.

He has more Experience Than you Might Think

One of the concerns I’ve seen expressed in a variety of places is that Reyes has no head coaching experience. I see where that would be a concern, especially since the Knights  are in tear-down the Big East mode right now.

Reyes, however, is nowhere near new to coaching. He spent 11 years working the Verizon Kiosk in Woodbridge mall, 18 years of Madden Football gaming experience, Ticket season holder for RU although 75% of the time he is texting, and can make a delicious burger during extreme tailgates.  He is also an avid Giants fan but we won’t hold that against him. All of this requires some football knowledge. The Tailgaters of America organization does a great job of listing all of Hugo’s successes in his bio. The short version: he has been successful for years and in multiple locations.

Written by Jairo Paredes



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Filed under: Schiano Rutgers Scarletknights Football 
August 23, 2011
Fatman Football moving to North Bergen, NJ

We are in the process of finalizing a team for North Bergen.

Players that may join are:

J Paredes
J Marenco
H Reyes
J Rodriguez
Rolando 

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May 4, 2011
Fat Warriors Swindle Kearny Allstars By Carmelo “C.O.” Ruiz

October 10, 2010
Fat Warriors Swindle Kearny Allstars By Carmelo “C.O.” Ruiz

On a picture perfect mid-October Sunday, the football world witnessed one of the biggest upsets ever. In an unprecedented act of athletic confidence, the 5 FMF faux athletes that showed up to the field decided to take on the “other guys” that play across the park. While the “other guys” ran drills the fat men worked on convincing Jairo “Purple Heart” Paredes to play. After some negotiations, the teams were set as Jairo, Julio, Melo, Ketal, Oro Solido (other guys), Ali G Rugby Socks (other guys) vs. The other guys + Chunkletas. Fat Warriors + 2 got off to an early lead of 5-3 thanks to TD catches by Julio the sleep walking giant and C.O. plus outstanding contributions by +2. Curry commander uncharacteristically lost his touch for a moment throwing 4 INT’s only to redeem himself later to get the W. Jairo-Purple Heart was throwing serious blocks and strolling into the end zone for 3 Touchdowns in a very-very sneaky style. C.O. continued his trademark play of getting burned by a short and very speedy (Alex style) player (Wes Walker aka O.C.-owned Carmelo) and dropping a couple of sure TD passes. Julio had 1 TD catch and frazzled the QB with his ominous and sarcastic presence. Play of the game went to Rugby Socks who on an instant special teams classic, kicked the ball, reached the receiver first, recovered a fumble and scored while his less than athletic teammates watched in admiration 40 yards back. FMF + 2 lost the lead and were almost out of it being down 9- 6. They came back after the demoralizing special teams play and stepped up their defense stopping them on 3 consecutive turnover on downs. Score was tied 10-10 when “Other Guys” called next score wins. Kurry Commander hit CO for a 30 yard completion placing FMF =2 in the red zone. Other Guys put up a strong defensive effort (questionable holding) and had FMF +2 down to their last play with 4th and goal. K snapped the ball with cholesterol infused adrenaline and looked for an open receiver for more than 7 Mississippi counts when Chunkletas committed the ultimate act of loyalty/treason by crossing the line of scrimmage allowing K commander to shake, bake and celebrate in the end zone. Tempers simmered slowly as the victorious FMF+2 walked to the stretching tree desperate for oxygen and calories. It was a glorious day at fat boy field. See you in 2 weeks. Stay fat. 
Commish.

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July 9, 2010

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(Notes: 1)
  
April 12, 2010
Hall-of-fame material.

Hall-of-fame material.

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April 12, 2010
From the FMFL commisioner’s desk

Commissioner Carmelo “Owens” Ruiz has issued the following statement: ”New Season, More Football, More Fun, More Fat!” I’d like to welcome all our members back from a fat filled holiday season….after eating all that food during Thanksgiving and Christmas, you all probably gained alot of weight…but that’s ok, you are now in shape for the Spring season of Fatman Football… With the weather now shaping up nicely and it getting warm enough to cook that fat on your chichos, we’d like to get our first game started on Sunday 4/18 @Fatboy Field in Kearny NJ tentatively @10am…if you need an address, please advise, but it’s immediately to your left off Schuyler Ave after turning up off of Harrison Ave in Harrison… Our first game will be in honor of our first retirement from Fatman Football…our past president and founder Jairo Paredes suffered a debilitating knee injury that required surgery…it appears that the doctors were able to save the knee, but couldn’t stop a huge vagina from growing…so we will move forward and in honor of him play this game we love and eat some fat food and drink beer after the game…hope to see you all there… 

Juice ‘Fishback’ ReyesSargeant-Fat-Arms 

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April 3, 2010
Season 5 is almost here

If you are interested in joining, please send an email to carmelojr@hotmail.com

Order your shirts: http://fatmanfootball.logosoftwear.com/

New designs to follow!

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April 3, 2010

Getting ready for the season, Ketal Patel and Juice “Fishback” Reyes practice the dreaded snapping of the ball.

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April 3, 2010

Here is our star player and commisioner, CO, Carmelo “Owens” Ruiz

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October 14, 2009
October 11th Game Recap by Hugo Reyes

Fellow Fatmen,
I send another weekly installment of our team’s recap and highlights…

First I want to officially introduce our three new Fatman members:
1) Orlando ‘Landy #2’ Colon
2) Jack ‘Ankles’ Ly
3) Martin ‘Brian Urlacher’ Dibattista
All are questionably fat…as a matter of fact, they aren’t….but Orlando doesn’t know where he’s going and Jack isn’t particularly fast, so he still meets the maximum 15 seconds 40 yd dash standard…
Martin on the other hand was all over the field at safety…I think he was in two places at the same time…He was catching TD passes…I mean when he was doing wind sprints and jogging around the field, we knew we were in trouble…..

and a couple old ones:
1) Landy ‘The original Animal aka LobsterClaw aka Lanka” Estrada
2) Deivi “Mangu” Baez

Special shout outs go to Raf for bringin his whole family to come play…he had like 5 heads show up including his two little brothers…I felt like I was playing in grammar school…..good sh*t Raf…it made the games more fun w/bigger teams….and also to Landy who flew in from San Francisco @7am on a redeye, and still came to the field to play…
that’s some fatman dedication…

Now to the games…..Game 1 was run by Ketal the Curry Commander and myself Juice the Fishback:
-Ketal had a typical game…he threw for all his td’s and ran for one….
-Martin as mentioned was a beast…running by everyone for mad TD catches…even outrunning Speedy Alex..
-Allen keeps getting better every week…he’s a big target out there and deceptively fast…and I didnt know you could score TDs by sneaking them outside the cone either…
-Raf was busy looking after the little guys on the field…making sure they had their cookies and milk…the one w/the afro kept asking to QB on 4th down but they all matched up well flying around the field against each other…
-Deivi was mad heavy on the D-line even trying to blitz on a silent count w/o counting Mississippi’s…I thnk he was blitzing more than once too!…..
-Melo and Jack were nice targets down the field…Melo kept claiming he was open, like always but he wasnt….
-Jack used his grasshopper powers to go after 2 jump balls I threw up to him…that was pretty amazing for real!..
Although my team started out quickly and got a turnover on a fumble by one of Rafie’s kids, our 3-2 lead quickly vanished and we lost 7-4…I think we did prove I am a better QB than Jairo…

Game 2 was not even close…Rafie’s kids decided to all be on one team…..and Raf got pulled in w/them…he couldnt escape…..they added Jack to their mix….the opposing team was everyone else…
-This game had everything…..bombs down the field to Alex, Melo, and Allen…..
-Ketal was gunning it like he was John Elway against the Bucs of the 70’s….
-Orlando actually caught one pass down the sideline so he got involved…
-Carmelo’s scruffy beard was playing harder defense than the other team…
-The poor kids weren’t getting burnt like fried rice left too long on a Chinaman’s wok…..I mean we were arguing who was going to kick the ball off…damn it was a beat down of historic proportions…
-Mike Vick in red socks tried to out juke me on a kick return…but I didnt go anywhere and tagged him..he didnt realize I wasn’t going anywhere on the play cuz I am to slow and heavy to run after him…so I just stayed still…lol
-Landy and Deivi were blitzing at the same time….they rocked Jack’s world a few times…
-Landy threw a devastating block… on our only run play…poor kid didnt see it coming..he took out one of Raf’s kids on the sideline and made me laugh so hard I went out of bounds….
-Everyone said I had the highlight of the game: caught a pass from Ketal and out ran 3 of Rafie’s kids to the other side of the field showing off my fishback jukes til I got pushed out of bounds…they say I looked like the Guatemalan Emmitt Smith…
Final score: 7-zip

Player awards:
Brian Bosworth award: Raf’s friend that had the Raiders looking jersey…for thinking his squad had a chance against us in game 2 and he could be the QB
Pete Rose award: Alex’s picture on Facebook…he looks like he’s a blur…..too fast for the camera
Man Crush award: Ketal again for looking to All
Neophyte award: Martin for his Troy Polamalu imitation…I swear he has a teleport machine
Dick Butkus award: Ketal for playing dirty defense and having 3 Ints and running 2 back for TDs against the Pop Warner team…
Fairplay award: Landy for making nice and easy two handed blocks and tags…
Referee award: Ketal for screaming the loudest to win calls
Hunchback award: Jack for reinjuring his ankle again…but trooping it…
Herb award: Nelson Nieves again for not showing up….AGAIN

Alright….let’s see if we get enough people to play again this Sunday 10/18 @9:30am…same field…

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